Religion Maybe
April 4, 2004

Journal, journal, journal. I made you out of clay. Journal, journal, journal. I write in you each day.

But, I don’t. And I didn’t. And I’m not Jewish. But I am writing. One might call this… forced writing. How many people would like to be able to hold a gun to the muse of creativity and say, “Work! Damn you, work!”

The problem is, not much new has happened in the last 14 or so hours. (Oh!) Actually, I’m wrong. My mom retired today. So there you go.

This tidbit of information might not be so noteworthy if Jennifer’s mother hadn’t just retired last month, also. Behold the mighty signs of aging! First, everyone you know gets married. Next, they start popping out little babies. (Cute, granted; but I can’t, and have, therefore, chosen to fill the resulting void with bittersweet resentment.) The third thing that happens is one’s parents retire. And, around that same time, loved ones begin passing away.

Mom had a real shocker when Dad passed on. She realized there was nobody left to “go” before her. “That,” she said, “is when you finally realize you’ve gotten old.” It was a shocker for me too. I can’t bear the thought of losing her yet. That is the blow which would really begin to separate me from the world, I’m afraid. She has helped me through so much, and always been there. I pray that she has another thirty, healthy years.

Besides, she deserves it. She has given her whole life for other people. --High time for her to live a little.

At least no one will have to worry about me dying. I’ve decided to live forever; and so far, so good! --Never mind several close calls.

Speaking of dying, and therefore, possibly of religion, I went to an introductory class on Buddhism several weeks ago. It was quite a surprise. I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out my spiritual ideas and speculating about how that universe might work. But, it seems I might just be a Buddhist. I could have saved a lot of time if I’d known.

Actually, I’m not entirely onboard with Buddhist ideas. Or maybe this particular guy didn’t explain them properly. Or then again, there are different school of Buddhist thought; if I’m not mistaken. I don’t know. But I do know that I was pleasantly surprised to hear some of the things in that class.

It’s too bad they don’t have more Buddhist overtones at the Unitarian church. That’s right. I’ve started going to a Unitarian church. Well, once. But I’m definitely going back. I want to meet knew people, as I mentioned yesterday. And also, I want to surround myself with some like-minded people who, presumably, care more about the spiritual side of things than the religious. And that is what the Unitarian church seems to be. On friend charged that they were too Christian-based, but they have a pagan group which meets in the woods once a week, so I’m not sure how that can be.

Really, if you were to pin me down, I’d have to say it was more of a get together for progressive minded people -- sometimes even more focused on social change than spirituality, perhaps.

And that’ll do just fine for me.

Matthew is coming over so we grab some vegetarian Vietnamese food for dinner, so…