While Supplies Last
April 21, 2003
*warning: foul language ahead*

Fuck this stupid world.

What is wrong with you people?! If I have to listen to one more person tell me that they can’t say “I love you” to “just anyone” or “without REALLY knowing” if they mean it, I’m going to go bug-fucking crazy.

Is love a limited resource? Will we run out? I mean really, I’m sure there is someone we could bomb if we ever get TOO low. The Care Bears. Maybe the smurfs.

For the religious folks out there: Can someone tell me if you pray too much does God stop listening to you? If you prayed for the bum on the side of the road, and then for a friend, and then again for a family member, would God get sick of you? Would “It” say, “Not her again! God damn it <divine giggle>, she’s always fucking praying for something. Does she think love just grows on trees?!”

Hate is so easy for us. We are angry, resentful, hate-loving, “kick his ass!” blood thirsty animals. We play violent sports. We watch violent tv shows. We go to bloody movies that are so real you can’t tell them apart from the real thing. Our music is violent. Our drives to work and home are violent. We scheme, slander and take everything we can rip from each other.

But love! THAT must be doled out very, very, very carefully.

Does anyone see a problem with this? Is it just me? I’ve been wrong before. In fact, I’m wrong a lot. But there is a little voice in my head -- let’s call it common sense -- that says, “That’s so STOOPID!”

People are afraid to love, because they want to be very sure they’ll get at least as much back as they give out. It’s all about return on investment. If you loved someone and didn’t get loved back, you’d go bankrupt! Or something.

We’re still just animals. It’s nice to pretend, sometimes, that we’re not. It’s nice to pretend there is something special about ourselves. It’s nice to pretend that we’re spiritual, that we’re God’s gift to the whole fucking universe. Hell, the REASON for the Universe! The reason for all of existence!

You and I? We’re just animals, and usually not very good ones either. Heck, my mom’s Pomeranian has more love in her than most people I happen to know.

If there is any hope for us, it’s in loving. The more we increase our capacity for it, the closer we’ll get to becoming something other than animals. Until then, there are plenty of movies and what-not to pass the time. And speaking of movies, if I find the guy responsible for charging me $3.00 for a bottle of water, I’m going to kick him square in the nuts. Fuckin’ bastard.