Must write! Damn it! I must write!

…even if it is just a daily log. I was doing well today. Never mind the fact that after waking up I asked for the day off work. They’ve been bugging me to take time off anyway -- afraid of my impending burn-out after so many very long weekends. So today, I did, and then slept until 3:30.

My idea of running out to catch a nice lunch and begin my day was foiled again and again. Two local restaurants nearby my house had closed for the afternoon. I had actually walked in the first, before finding out. A third, somewhat further away, I discovered to be in the same limp state. Sometimes I really hate small locally owned businesses. (I love small locally owned businesses!) Hate, hate!

Driving yet onward, I came across a new Quiznos sub. I haven’t had that for a while and they make a wicked-good veggie sub. I parked. I walked up. It was still being built. A Chinese place next door was open. I walked in. It smelled… odd. I stood behind two people staring at a menu, though they may have been dead. They didn’t move. The guy at the cash register was reading a book -- apparently now bored with them, but perhaps unaware of the tragic possibilities. I turned around and moved on.

Eventually I ended up at a nice steak house next to my favorite Border’s Books. Being a vegetarian, this is seldom my first choice. But by this time, I was running people off the road desperate to find food. And, I do eat fish every now and again, so the Ahi Tuna salad I settled on was more than adequate, though about double the price and half the size of the lunch I’d envisioned earlier.

Details… I bought books next door: Poems to Read; Essential Check Point Firewall-1; and Cisco Secure PIX Firwalls.

Details… I signed up at the local 24 gym. I did not work out.

Piano practice today went very well. And it so it was until Madison called. She called asking if I would play her something on the piano -- through the phone. Okay? After Chopin’s Raindrop prelude she explained that Shawn and Amy were butchering the piano were she was and she needed to hear me play.

That was VERY flattering. She also needed to cry on my shoulder. Apparently, her interest in Shawn is not being reciprocated. Amy also told her that the reason she may be having a hard time meeting people is because she is intimidating. I explained that she too may have an Octopus on her head.

At any rate, I’m happy to be there for her, but it’s still a little hard for me I guess. I actually drove up to the coffee shop after we got off the phone. She explained that she would be there for an hour. I wasn’t explicitly invited, but it seemed the right thing to do. If she wasn’t into it, she would blow me off and I would read. If she did want to talk, she would do it.

And when I pulled up, she actually met me at the car door. So that was a good indication. It was an awkward evening though. I’d envisioned us sharing a conversation more that the card-playing with other friends that happened. Of course, whatever will make her feel better, right? The thing of it was, I got to hear on several occasions about her trying to meet people, sleep with this or that person, etc. It was way over the top and I wonder if for my benefit or just despite my feelings.

By the time she left, I was feeling definitely out of sorts. Luckily, Matthew was there and let me cry, in turn, on his shoulder. Stephanie, one of the owners of the Scream’n Bean, also talked with me for a while and is going to introduce me to one of her friends. And I definitely need to cultivate some new friends.

Matthew and I left together and checked out a local gay bar, briefly. It was dead, but the two people working there were quite nice. We spent about 30 minutes talking about the local neighborhoods and community. After that we stopped for some fresh bread at the 24-hour bread place on the way home. And that’s about it.

I also just answered some emails from readers. There are some wonderful, supportive people out there. I love you guys! And now I’m going to bed. It's 4:45am.