April 30, 2002
Tuesday

Today was spent recovering. I didn't actually ask for any time off, but I did sleep in a little bit and people didn't bother me all day. Of course, I think other people were taking it easy too. The crisis I was driving wasn't the only one yesterday. There was another as well, which also went all night, making it a particularly bad Monday.

Tonight I did drive to Orlando to fix Mom's computer. Initially, I only needed to set up some new speakers for her. Apparently though, my brother gave her a lot of shit about not being able to do that herself, last week. He can be aggressive and mean that way. Just like my dad. (Dad! Mustn't forget to write about that…) So Mom tried to take the computer out of it its nook in the desk and do it. Everything fell out. Cables were unplugged.

So it was rather mandatory that I finally go. She had a revelation; she told me on the phone, "I can't believe how crucial the computer is to me now. I do everything on it." It's a little scary actually. In the past, I've had the same revelation as a consequence off several workstation crashes. The trip gave me another revelation as well -- how many things I have going on. Maybe it's just a project for work; maybe it's some friends I'm meeting; maybe it's cruising at the Double Meat. Monday it was the hair appointment, piano lesson and ultimately a crisis at work.

And tonight, it was a Buffy party that I had to cancel. But it's just as well. Mom and I had fun visiting. And Pumpkin! My little "Fur Ball of Infinite Love." My heart wouldn't ache as much if I had a pet.

And completely destroying the warm fuzzies that I get from looking at this picture, I have to write down one of the things that came up while Mom and I were having dinner. She has problems. And I'm not talking about "getting older" health problems. She has had problems ever since she started dating -- maybe earlier.

What happened is that she mentioned something Grandma once said about Mom not liking any guy who was nice to her. We got to talking a little more about it and it turns out that she actually once knocked out my dad!

"My God! How?"

"With a beer can."

"A beer can? A full beer can?"

"Yes. From the refrigerator."

<Insert incredulous, jaw-dropped expression here.>
"Why?"

"He broke down the door to my apartment and I hit him with the beer can -- knocked him right out. Haven't you ever noticed that little mark on his nose?"

"Why did he break into your apartment?"

"Oh, he thought I was with someone else. I wasn't."

"You're kidding me?!" My heart was actually racing, at this point. "And you married him?"

Dad and I haven't had the greatest relationship, mind you. This story and the other things she told me, weren't completely out of the blue. And I've already heard the story where at a party he thought she was looking at someone else, got in her face, and pointed repeated to his nose saying, "You look right here! You look right here!"

He's mellowed out a lot now. Being terribly frail, he doesn't do much more than complain. He certainly doesn't run the show, so to speak. And recently, he spends all his time wearing the wireless headphones that allow him to hear what is happening while watching tv. The funny thing is, though, he wears them even walking around the house. So even when I want to visit a bit, it isn't much of an option.

Back in the day though, he was a real ass. They both fought constantly. And Mom used to tell Tom and I to be quiet if he we were laughing to loudly, while playing -- for fear of him going off. Not that he was ever violent, mind you. It was just the drinking and the emotional torment.

So my brother and I have grown up as each of the possible results from this. He has become an alcoholic (though not dysfunctional yet) and can be terribly abusive -- or at least aggressive. And I hardly drink at all and tend to avoid confrontation at any cost. As for Mom, she's grown a lot. I don't actually think she would get in the same type of relationship today. At least I hope not.

Came home. Watched Buffy. The relationship with Spike is a lot more interesting now.