(Shack Speaks)
shack@/
Wondering where the title "Bitch Panic" came from? Somehow Shack convinced the witty, funny and cool people over at Television Without Pity to let him recap a couple of movies that featured actors from Dawson's Creek. Both movies -- Varsity Blues and Teaching Mrs. Tingle -- could be appropriately classified as "hideous abortions" of filmmaking. In Teaching Mrs. Tingle, three bratty students justified committing several felonies upon their history teacher by arguing that she was mean and wouldn't listen to reason. Shack referred to this as the "Bitch Panic Defense" -- a variation of the "Gay Panic Defense" used by men who have killed gay guys. Much to Shack's annoyance, the "Bitch Panic Defense" actually worked in the film. As for what that has to do with the content of the site... well... all the good urls were taken.

(Sushi Speaks)
sushi@/
For days I resisted the name "Bitch Panic" after Shack told me about his idea to name the site. It sounded a bit anti-feminist to me. At least, it can certainly be construed that way. (I promise never to use the word "construed" again on this site.) So I struggled against the inevitable name. Once I got thinking about it though, I began to see the potential. What is Bitch Panic really? It reminds me of my earliest forays into dating. I discovered how so many people are afraid of you if you seem to be a woman too intelligent or ambitious. Bitchpanic! What must bad people feel when I slip into political mode and stand up for what is right? Bitchpanic! It also makes me think of when Shack starts editing my writing. Bitchpanic!

Such a versatile name. And… well... "all the good urls were taken." Read our AIM transcript about what to name the site.

Shack is an editor at a small daily newspaper in the extremely hot middle of the California Desert. No joke: about 20 miles from Shack's apartment is a spot solar scientists claim gets the most sunlight in the entire world. When Shack isn't being a complete workaholic (about three hours a week), he's writing recaps for Television Without Pity. When he's not doing that, he's either playing video games, playing with his pet bunny, Rory, or working on his cooking skills. Due to an unfortunate birth defect, Shack's image does not show up on film, but he has been told he bears more than a passing resemblance to Steve Zahn in some of his scruffier roles. Except now Steve has bulked himself out a bit, while Shack has gotten fat. Well, that's just terrific.

Who am I? Somewhere deep in the journal entries you and I may find the real answer to that question. Before you get started with that main course however, here is a time line appetizer.

In college I was a Molecular Genetics major. Before finishing, I dropped out to travel around the country and to be in various Renaissance Festival shows. I would have traveled with my friends there longer than I did, but I quickly ran out of money. That is, I maxed my new credit card (which is still being paid off today) and had no money in the bank. Next I worked a temp job for a couple months to help ends meet, but was still determined to travel--money or no money. Despite the conspicuous lack of funds, I learned how to drive semi trucks. They were quite easy to drive actually. After a year though, so much driving became insufferably boring and I returned to my childhood love of computers for income.

Now, I've spent the last five years building a career and just landed a job with a particular global tech conglomerate following a nasty dot com failure. Being part of a Dot com failure is far worse than you've read or imagined. Fucking evil bastards. How did I get sucked back into this corporate, have-to-make-a-buck, lifestyle? I really needed the money. Male to Female gender reassignment surgery is quite expensive, and it generally has to be paid in cash unless you have credit cards or the like. Of course, insurance companies won't pay a thing so you are on your own.

When it was all said and done, I paid over twenty thousand dollars in cash for surgery alone. And that doesn't include a couple years of expensive therapy, ongoing medicine costs, etc. That's a lot of money for a kid just out of high school!

Of course, it has been a while now since I was just out of high school. And so that brings us from then, all the way, to today. I've got a great paying job, and new priorities. I've resumed working on my childhood dream of becoming a concert pianist, I continue to write, and I've picked up a litter of other hobbies along the way such as chess. What new adventures are next? Read on.